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You have to get up and keep going - but maybe take some time to decide which direction to turn!

I just recorded a podcast with Baily Hancock who is a career and business strategist.  She teaches people how to collaborate with their community to achieve their goals.  It was great to talk about my consulting business and what I am working on in the area of sexual harassment, but it was also a great conversation about life.  I think if you ask me how I have managed to keep going in life- most of the time forward- I would tell you that I haven't always gone forward.  Sometimes I have gone backward or sideways.  But the key to why I have continued to grow, learn, and eventually go forward is that I have always gotten up.  And it's hard sometimes to get up. I don't begin to imagine anyone else's pain - so this is not a judgment - its a rally or cheer for you to get up.  Even when life knocks you down.  But what I am suggesting is to also think about what direction to go when you get up.  Sometimes forward isn't where you need to be.  Sometimes you have to go back to figure out the next step, to finish what you started, to gain knowledge, help, money.  And sometimes you need to go sideways - maintain while you gather strength, skills, people before you can proceed.  

It's difficult to get up and many times we are so happy that we were able to pull ourselves up from a fall that we just get up and run.  And more power to you if you have the where with all to run at breakneck speed.  But it's okay if you don't.  And it's okay to take a look around and decide whether you want to keep going with your direction.

I think it is good to ask questions both of the situation and of yourself.  Decide if the job, school, relationship you are in is what you really want to be spending your time on.  Are you in it because you feel obligated.  Are you in it because you don't want to let someone down?  Is it really the right spot for you to be in?    If it isn't, then it's time to figure out how to move forward.

Let's bring this around to harassment in the workplace.  You may feel that you are being harassed or maybe you even feel uneasy - nothings happened, but you have that tingly feeling in your gut that something isn't safe.  Maybe you were riding high in this position and the idea that it isn't what you thought knocks you down.  This is the time you need to listen and think it through

.  If you believe the company is the right fit for you, the answer may be to ask to work for a different manager/boss.  Maybe you want to move departments or even positions.  This move may be sideways or even backwards, but if its a move that allows you to grow into the next position -then it may be the right move.  What I am suggesting is that quitting may not be the only answer to moving past what feels like a failure or a bump in your road.   A career you have built isn't something you should let go and you should also not assume that others won't be open to ideas for where you should be. There may be more than one way to address the situation.  And if you go to the people that can help you with an actual solution - they will be open to listening.  The point is that we sometimes get boxed in to one way to do things or we feel like we are knocked down so hard we have to just get out.  Remember in these moments that there are possibly numerous options.  And it may take a moment of you looking around and finding a solution or a direction you want to go- rather than running blindly away from what you are in.  I would not suggest you stay in a situation that is dangerous.  I am suggesting that if you have the luxury of time and some thought - you think through some solutions.
Don't let someone take your options from you.  Step forward with solutions.  Culture and candor can go a long way in the right company.
Workplace Ethics, Etiquette and Education


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Where are the men?

I know -there are land minds everywhere you step. You aren't sure if you should say anything  - because it isn't your issue.  You aren't sure what to say and maybe you don't even want to weigh in. It is an uncomfortable truth that the bias has benefited you simply because of your gender.  However, in this moment and time, you should be part of the conversation. Otherwise your silence is deafening.

I realize it might be uncomfortable to talk when you have benefited or turned a blind eye.  But it cannot be any harder than to talk when you have been blacklisted, harassed, or assaulted.  Don't get me wrong, it takes courage to speak out in this current environment. Everyone seems to be judged currently even when trying to do something that could make a positive impact, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. When Oprah spoke of those little girls watching on their floors as someone like them was speaking on television, it occurred to me that those little girl…