Workplace Ethics, Etiquette and Education

I feel like it's getting hard to read the news and see all of the people that are being accused as harassers.  But imagine all of the people they have harassed and what it must be like for them.  And that's when it all gets heavier.  It feels like all men are bad.  But that isn't true.  Men have had the luxury of not having to worry about what they say and do because of their positions and because we as a society like to grant reprieve's based on generational issues.  I do it. But we have to stop.  In order to really make the changes that clearly need to be made, we have to talk about the uncomfortable issues.  And we have to allow men to ask questions - even if we as women think they should know the answers.  Because they may not.  But if they are asking, then they are stepping onto the road of growing and evolving and working towards the behavior we want to have happen.  We can't banish all men as bad.  We can, but then what do we do?  We need to hold those that a

I have been writing blogs and worrying about how I write. What I write. I realized this morning that it has been stopping me from writing what really needs to be said.  I was sexually harassed and assaulted in 1991.  One of my trusted mentors said don't be a victim when you talk or write, people won't like that.  I have been told, tell your story, but be careful.   And I agree.  But I don't think telling my story makes me a victim.  And telling the whole story just makes me honest.  Because I came forward in 1991 and brought charges against my employer and in doing so, other women came forward and we sued and won.  And I think you should know that.  I think you should know that I understand. I remember I was scared and didn't know what to do and worse, I wasn't sure I should do anything.  I WASN'T sure that after being shoved and touched and further assaulted if I hadn't fought back and stopped him, was grounds for harassment.  Because everyone was worri

Company Culture and the Bottom Line It seems like you can’t turn on the news without hearing new headlines of sexual harassment misconduct these days.  The Wall Street Journal and New York times have front page stories with big names like Weinstein and Louis C.K. being outed for their behavior.   Women are speaking out about secret behind the scenes support systems that have been created in the tech industry.  Stories about groups such as “Glass Ceiling Club” created in the 90’s by a group of ambitious women who worked for Bear Stearns and wanted to make the work environment more female friendly are being revealed. It feels as though there is a shift in the workplace culture.  Every industry is being affected. Allegations of sexual harassment have led to the resignations of  Justin Caldbeck of Binary Capital  and  Dave McClure of 500 Startups , and the dismissal of  Steve Jurvetson of DFJ , venture capitalists once-celebrated kingmakers are facing pressure from founders and limite

I was recently on a plane back to Los Angeles from San Francisco.  Towards the end of the flight, the man in the middle seat and I starting chatting.When he asked what I did, I told him I had a consulting firm that worked with company cultures.  And that we specialized in sexual harassment issues.  He shook his head and said, “I don’t understand sexual harassment.” At first, I thought he meant he didn’t understand how any one could sexual harass someone. But upon further questioning what he really meant was,  "I don’t understand how it can even happen." I was a little dumbfounded.  He was 30 years old, white and male from Chicago. He seemed relatively intelligent and very polite.  And I started thinking about what sexual harassment really is and how it could be hard to understand.  But I realized the word "sexual" catches every one's attention and that distracts them from the truth.  The truth is that sexual harassment is the act of a bully.  Just like bu