Workplace Ethics, Etiquette and Education

When I was growing up, I knew I was being sexually discriminated against by my parents,but I didn't really realize that the world was going to do it too. However, I remember as a teen being very indignant that my older brother had less strict rules for dating/curfews/social events than I did at the same age.  I thought it was a bunch of bull that he could come home later. I also remember, being from Missouri, which isn't the South, but isn't not the South, that everyone called you sweetie, honey, etc. And we didn't think it meant anything,until you were older and men called you that and pinched your arm or your cheek and you got that feeling in your stomach that you didn't want them touching you.   There was slut shaming and the idea that if a girl had a bad reputation that maybe it was her fault the boy did ______________to her.  There weren't any "no means no talks", but more "don't be at the wrong place at the wrong time", you ...

With the start of the New Year a new movement was launched with the hashtag #TIMESUP.     It is a call to everyone to stop being silent, stop waiting to report and to stop tolerating discrimination, harassment and abuse.  The movement is linked to a Go Fund Me campaign to raise money for a Legal Defense Fund and was developed by women in the film, television and theater industry.  But it is not targeted at these groups alone, it is a call to all women and men.  It is a call to hold our own workplaces accountable. The group also looks at the representation of women compared to men in leadership positions as an imbalance of power that needs to be evened out.  Research shows that women in male-dominated occupations, especially those in male dominated work contexts are sexually harassed more than women in balanced or in female-dominated ones. In my own career I have seen this to be true. When I was being sexually harassed 25 years ago by the VP of my ...

Al Franken is resigning from allegations of sexual misconduct and another man that was looked to as a leader is on the list. Mr Franken's misconduct seemingly have been acts committed before he started a career in politics.  But that doesn't make them less disturbing. I think the problem that people are having isn't that they think he shouldn't be held accountable.  They think he should and so should everyone else.  And while we sort through this actions and the punishments, I think it's important to find the root cause.  Because we can get rid of these people that are being inappropriate but if we don't build a culture of integrity with in companies, industries and the world,we will continue to have these issues.  There have been revelations over the years that amounted to some press and conversations but if you want to change the problem - if you want to protect your business -if you want to be a strong company- you have to think about the environment and make...

I was lucky enough to hear Terry Crews speak Friday night at LIVE TALKS LA .https://livetalksla.org/ .  He was interviewed by Tim Ferriss who I hold in great esteem.  The interview was full of amazing stories and a lot of great insights from both successful men.  But a topic I wasn't expecting to hear was sexual harassment.  Which is silly, given the current state of media, but it still surprised me when Mr. Crews discussed quite briefly that he wasn't sure what would happen because he had spoken out about being harassed.  He talked about wondering if he had done the wrong thing in speaking out and if it would mean he had damaged his career. The crowd shouted out that he had done the right thing.    But I understood the hesitancy.  Not only could it affect his career, it's also an uncomfortable topic to discuss with a room of people.  Which is what happens if you speak out. And that isn't dependent on whether you are famous or not.  If y...

I feel like it's getting hard to read the news and see all of the people that are being accused as harassers.  But imagine all of the people they have harassed and what it must be like for them.  And that's when it all gets heavier.  It feels like all men are bad.  But that isn't true.  Men have had the luxury of not having to worry about what they say and do because of their positions and because we as a society like to grant reprieve's based on generational issues.  I do it. But we have to stop.  In order to really make the changes that clearly need to be made, we have to talk about the uncomfortable issues.  And we have to allow men to ask questions - even if we as women think they should know the answers.  Because they may not.  But if they are asking, then they are stepping onto the road of growing and evolving and working towards the behavior we want to have happen.  We can't banish all men as bad.  We can, but then what ...

I have been writing blogs and worrying about how I write. What I write. I realized this morning that it has been stopping me from writing what really needs to be said.  I was sexually harassed and assaulted in 1991.  One of my trusted mentors said don't be a victim when you talk or write, people won't like that.  I have been told, tell your story, but be careful.   And I agree.  But I don't think telling my story makes me a victim.  And telling the whole story just makes me honest.  Because I came forward in 1991 and brought charges against my employer and in doing so, other women came forward and we sued and won.  And I think you should know that.  I think you should know that I understand. I remember I was scared and didn't know what to do and worse, I wasn't sure I should do anything.  I WASN'T sure that after being shoved and touched and further assaulted if I hadn't fought back and stopped him, was grounds for harassment....

Company Culture and the Bottom Line It seems like you can’t turn on the news without hearing new headlines of sexual harassment misconduct these days.  The Wall Street Journal and New York times have front page stories with big names like Weinstein and Louis C.K. being outed for their behavior.   Women are speaking out about secret behind the scenes support systems that have been created in the tech industry.  Stories about groups such as “Glass Ceiling Club” created in the 90’s by a group of ambitious women who worked for Bear Stearns and wanted to make the work environment more female friendly are being revealed. It feels as though there is a shift in the workplace culture.  Every industry is being affected. Allegations of sexual harassment have led to the resignations of  Justin Caldbeck of Binary Capital  and  Dave McClure of 500 Startups , and the dismissal of  Steve Jurvetson of DFJ , venture capitalists once-celebrated kingmakers ...