Some of us grew up being sexually harassed and didn't even know it!

When I was growing up, I knew I was being sexually discriminated against by my parents,but I didn't really realize that the world was going to do it too. However, I remember as a teen being very indignant that my older brother had less strict rules for dating/curfews/social events than I did at the same age.  I thought it was a bunch of bull that he could come home later.

I also remember, being from Missouri, which isn't the South, but isn't not the South, that everyone called you sweetie, honey, etc. And we didn't think it meant anything,until you were older and men called you that and pinched your arm or your cheek and you got that feeling in your stomach that you didn't want them touching you.  

There was slut shaming and the idea that if a girl had a bad reputation that maybe it was her fault the boy did ______________to her.  There weren't any "no means no talks", but more "don't be at the wrong place at the wrong time", you don't want to be thought of as one of those girls.

In other words, I raised to feel like I had to defend myself simply because I was female and I couldn't do all of the things the big strong boys could because it was dangerous.

I never really listened, but it still stuck with me over years. That I had to guard myself against men - because if I didn't then it would be my fault if something happened.  In other words, I always had to be on the defensive. It's an exhaustive way to live, but that is what has been happening for years to anyone that is harassed or discriminated against. But the worst part of this truth is, we didn't know it was a big deal. That's just how it was.  You had to be better, smarter and work harder to prove yourself. Because you start with a mark against you simply by being _____________.  You fill in the blank.

When we talk about changing the world and making the workplace fairer, we are talking about undoing habits and ideals that have been in place for a long long time. Taking an online sexual harassment course will not fix the problem overnight. This is an issue that requires an entire overhaul of how people work with each other and think of each other in the workplace and outside of the workplace.

We have to educate and build leaders that want a stronger culture built on fairness, accountability and transparency.  Workshops, procedures, leadership classes will help to pave the way for the new way of thinking- because there are many who don't know and ever more who don't want to see what has been happening.  Strive to lead forward and build your culture with dignity.

www.weeehelp - workplace ethics etiquette and education.

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